Same Argument, Different Day? Here’s How to Change the Pattern?
- Harriet Shaw
- Oct 27
- 2 min read
By Harriet Shaw
If you continually argue and never settle your argument are you rehashing it to get to agreement?
What if you settled with acceptance?
Have you ever found yourself in the same argument on repeat? You make your point, they make theirs, and somehow you end up right back where you started — frustrated, unheard, and exhausted.
The Facts About Repetitive Arguments
When we argue, most of us are trying to be understood in one way or another— which often means trying to be right. We throw words, logic, and emotion into the ring, hoping the other person will finally get it.
And when they don’t? We call a truce. “Let’s just agree to disagree.”
That sounds peaceful, but often it’s not. That’s tolerance, the polite version of frustration. Tolerance says, “I’ll let this slide, but I still think you’re wrong.”
Acceptance goes deeper. Acceptance says, “Your truth is valid for you, just as mine is for me.”
It’s not about giving in. It’s about breaking the pattern. No winners. No losers. Just two humans with different truths and mutual respect.
From Tolerance to Acceptance
Tolerance allows difference.Acceptance honours it.
When we move from “I’ll let you think that” to “I see why you think that,” the dynamic changes. Suddenly, the need to win softens. The conversation opens up.
Acceptance creates emotional safety and that’s what most people are really searching for when they argue. Not victory. Not being right. Just to be seen, heard, understood and to have your perspective validated.
Why Acceptance Feels So Hard
Acceptance feels like being asked to let go and acquiesce. In fact it means releasing the need to fix or convince and trusting that two truths can coexist.
It’s not surrender. It’s freedom and importantly, it breaks the pattern.
When you stop trying to change someone’s mind, you reclaim your peace.
Acceptance Isn’t Weakness — It’s Strength
Acceptance isn’t compliance. It’s clarity. You can honour someone else’s truth without abandoning your own.
It’s saying:
“I don’t have to agree with you to respect you.”
That’s emotional maturity. And it’s the foundation of every healthy relationship, personal or professional.
Breaking the Cycle of Repetitive Arguments
Many couples and colleagues get trapped in the same conversations because they never reach true resolution, just tolerance.
Acceptance breaks the loop. It ends the power struggle and makes space for understanding.
Because when you accept, you don’t lose ground, you gain connection.
Arguments don't have to end in agreement. THey can end in acceptance.
Acceptance isn’t giving up. You don’t have to agree to move forward. You just need to accept that two truths can coexist.
Acceptance is about breaking patterns that don’t serve you. Always honouring your boundaries and never accepting the unacceptable.